This is a post I have been meaning to write for a very long time. I am constantly amazed at some of the things parents tell me about how things work in their house with their children. I see too many parents who tiptoe around their children, not wanting to upset them or make life uncomfortable for them. I am convinced this is why we have a proliferation of the snowflake culture among many young adults these days.
For those unfamiliar with the term, I define a snowflake as: “unique and special” but often melts under heat. Too many children are told how special and unique they are and they are never pushed to work hard and stretch themselves, and they are not allowed to fail. I see so many children who are terrified to fail. Failure is okay, we learn from our mistakes, what does not kill us makes us stronger.
As parents we do our children no favors by shielding them from the realities of life. There will be disappointments, there will be failure, we do not always win, we do not always get what we want, everything does not always go our way. It is how we react to these setbacks that define who we are, and that ultimately build our character.
I am always shocked when I hear parents say that they will leave the choice of private school up to their child. This is often a $40,000 plus a year choice. How is a 12 year old equipped to make that decision? Taking into account a child’s input and feelings about the schools is perfectly reasonable, but ultimately it should be the parent’s decision.
Parents will tell me that their children do not want to come to tutoring, and I understand that for some students the thought of tutoring is not a fun experience, but often it is for their own good. As in many relationships we have to pick our battles. Education is always a battle worth fighting.
In my house if I want my children to do something I spell out clearly why I want them to do it and why it will benefit them. If they do not see things my way, or at least agree to go along to get along then we talk about consequences. I control the purse strings and I am the chauffeur. If my children do not want to do what I think is best for them then I explain how life will become unpleasant for them, and I follow through. It is amazing how often this approach results in them seeing things my way.
Parents are not their child’s friend! I often say that if your child is angry with you then you are probably doing something right!
Anne Yount Boston ISEE Prep 617-553-8083 www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam Boston Tutoring Center 617-553-8083 www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12 Boston Private School Search 617-553-0540 www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions Follow my blog at: www.privateschoolguru.com/blog