I had a client call me the other day. She wanted to get her son into one of the top private schools in Boston (this school gets over 700 applicants for 45 seats in 7th grade) – they are an “Ivy League” level private school. They look for students who are super smart, athletic, artistic, and nice kids with a connection to giving back (through work at their church, temple or other religious institution, or through volunteer work). The student must be hard working, humble, mature, and all around outstanding – in other words exceptional! Sadly, her son did not possess most of these traits.
I have seen very few exceptional students in the past 14 years, but they are out there, and I have seen a number of them, but they are not the norm – not by a long shot!
Parents need to be realistic about who their child is, and who they are not. They also have to be honest with themselves about where their child will fit, in terms of a private school environment.
I have said it before, and I will say it again (and again) – you cannot fit a square peg into a round hole! This is not a lottery – the schools do not throw the applications up in the air, close their eyes, and pick randomly who will be admitted. The actual process of how schools select applicants is very, very complicated and time consuming for the school. The schools know who they are looking for, and who is a good fit. They also know who they are not looking for, and who is a poor fit. I know this too, and I try to guide my clients down the right path, so that this process will not lead them to disappointment.
I see a lot of parents who are quite frankly delusional! We do not work with delusional people – it is not worth the aggravation when people will not listen to reason, and they think they know better – they do not! It has been proven time and time again.
I had a conversation last month with a woman who was trying to help a friend in Europe get her son into a top private school in Boston for the 9th grade. He is a current 8th grader, living and studying in a dangerous European country. They want to get him to a safer place, I get that, really I do. I explained to her that they missed the deadline for applying to the top schools (the deadlines were in January). I told her that all the top schools have a wait list, and not all top schools will admit foreign students due to the visa requirements (they do not want to get involved in applying for student visas, and they do not need this clientele, it is too much work for them, and they have plenty of local applicants).
I also pointed out that he would need to take the TOEFL (Test Of English as a Foreign Language) – and he would have to get a certain score in order to be admitted to a top private school in Boston. She had never heard of the TOEFL test. He would also have to live in a homestay, as most of the top private schools in Boston do not have boarding services available onsite for students. I also explained that schools charge a premium for foreign students, because they are essentially acting as guardians of these students while they are in America. It costs the schools money to apply for and hold the visas on behalf of these students, and it takes time to comply with all rules and regulations governing educating these students.
I suggested they have him come here and attend a mid tier school to repeat 8th grade. I also suggested he start SSAT prep immediately, to prepare to take the test this fall/winter. He could then apply for admission to a top school for the 9th grade, for entry in the fall of 2017. He could work on building his English skills, getting acclimated to studying in the United States, and building a resume to help him gain admission to a top private high school in Boston.
She did not want to hear any of this. She did not think he needed to take the TOFEL (it is required for foreign students applying to study in America) and she did not think he needed to prep for the SSAT (good luck with that). She pointed out that her daughter (an exceptional student by all measures) did not prep for the SSAT, and currently attends a top boarding school in New Hampshire (one currently involved in a sex scandal with numerous adults accused of abusing students). She prepped her daughter for the SSAT.
She had previouslt told me that her daughter was rejected by a number of schools in 9th grade, and she finally made it into a boarding school for 10th grade admission last year. This family also required a lot of financial aid in order for the daughter to attend the school, which the mother now realizes is what hurt her daughter’s chances of admission when they applied for 9th grade entry.
She wanted me to tell her that her friend’s son could waltz into a top private school in Boston this fall. Not going to happen!
I do not tell people what they want to hear, I tell them the truth, whether they want to hear it or not!
This woman used to be a physician in another life, before she came to American and stopped working to raise her children. I asked her if she had a patient who came to her in her home country when she was a practicing physician, and asked for her counsel about a complicated medical condition, and then proceeded to tell her at every turn that she was wrong (when she was in fact right), what would she say to that patient? She said that she would be frustrated, and she would tell them she could not help them because they were not listening to her. Bingo!
Don’t consult a professional for counsel about private schools for your child and then discount the sage wisdom they give you. Listen to them, take to heart what they say, take a hard look at your child and be honest with them and yourself about what they are capable of, and where they will fit. You will be doing everyone a huge favor (most of all you and your child)
When I hear from a parent, when they describe their child to me: “They do not like math, they do not like to read, and their favorite subject is recess.”, I throw up my hands in frustration and look for the hidden camera to see if I am being punked! Do they realize how crazy this statement is, when they claim they are trying to get their child into a top private school? I hear this nonsense all to often.
Private schools do not make kids good students! They take good students and make them even better!
Take this to heart and you will save yourself and your child a lot of aggravation, disappointment and headaches.
Anne Yount Boston ISEE Prep 617-553-8083 www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam Boston Tutoring Center 617-553-8083 www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12 Boston Private School Search 617-553-0540 www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions Follow my Blog - http://privateschoolguru.com/blog/