Month: April 2016

As the parent of two children, one grown and one in the teen years, I have over 25 years of parenting experience, and lots of scar to show for my efforts.  I also have a lot of wisdom to share, based on the mistakes I have made, the lessons I have learned, and the work I have done with hundreds of families over the past 14 years.

I have always tried to be realistic about my children’s strengths and weaknesses. As a parent, I see it as one of my most important jobs to try to help them develop their talents.  It is my job to provide them with opportunities to try new things, explore interests, and improve their skills.

Like many parents, I sign them up for lessons, drive them back and forth, buy supplies, pay for classes and activities, and cheer them on as they pursue their interests. More importantly, I try to look at what areas they need to develop: academically, physically, artistically, socially, and emotionally, and I work with them to improve their areas of weakness.

It is my job not to sugar coat things with my children.  They need to know what they are good at, and what they need to work on.  It does them no good for me to push them in a direction they do not want to go in, or realistically cannot get to.

My son was convinced as a middle school student that he would be a professional soccer player one day.  We signed him up for travel soccer, and drove him all over for games and practices.  We enrolled him in camps and took him to professional games.  We also told him that the likelihood that he would be a professional soccer player was not good.  We urged him to also focus on his studies, and we pointed out how hard it was to make it to the pros as a soccer player, and how little money these players made, compared to other professional players.  We encouraged him to play and enjoy the game, but to be clear about his top priorities (school and his education).

It turns out that he did not even play soccer in high school!  He had a late growth spurt as a teenager, and he was too short to keep up with the taller players later in middle school and high school.  A passion he had pursued just a year earlier left him frustrated, and he quit.  I see this all the time with students and parents.

What kids are passionate about in elementary school may not continue into middle or high school.  Kids get burnt out, or they realize it is no fun anymore.  They also may realize that they have gone as far as they can, and the next step is not for them.  Parents have to help kids keep sports and other extra curricular activities in perspective.

Unfortunately, not may parents are good at helping their kids keep things in perspective today.  Too many parents get caught up in their kids’ activities, and they are living vicariously through their children.  This is sad, and it is also destructive to children.  A child may hang on to an activity long after they have gotten all they could out of it, because they want to please their parents. It should not have to be this way.

Don’t push your child to be something they are not, and do not set them up to fail. Take their interests, talents and skills into account, especially when looking at private schools.  Look for a place where they will be a good fit, and where they will have a chance to succeed. Do not pick a school because someone told you it is “the best”.  The goal in picking a private school is not slapping a sticker on the back of your car and bragging about where your child goes to school (this will backfire if the school is not a good fit).  The goal is to find a place where your child will be happy, grow and thrive.

Be realistic about who your child is, and what they are capable of.  It is the best gift you can give your child.

Anne Yount

Boston ISEE Prep
617-553-8083
www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam

Boston Tutoring Center
617-553-8083
www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12

Boston Private School Search
617-553-0540
www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions

Follow my Blog - http://privateschoolguru.com/blog/

There, I thought that would get your attention!

The focus of this post is how to get merit scholarship money for private school tuition.  If you need money for anything else, sorry, I cannot help you.

Now, getting back to how to get money for private school, let’s talk about how this process works.

Schools will often award merit scholarships, which are defined as grants, or discounts off the full tuition rate.  This is free money in a sense, as it does not have to be paid back. In order for the schools to award this money they have to get something valuable in return.

Think about it, when you pay for something, you want to get something in return, right?

So what do schools want to get for their scholarship dollars?

1. Smart students – schools are in the business of educating students. Smart students make the school stronger, more selective, and more impressive to future applicants.  Schools with a highly competitive student body are more elite, and they can have their pick of applicants (they can also charge a premium for tuition). How are smart students defined? Schools look at grades, and test scores on entrance exams such as the ISEE, SSAT and HSPT (among other alphabet soup test names).  We will delve more into these tests in future posts. So, if you want merit scholarship money, be prepared to show how smart your child is with hard data, not just telling the schools that you think they are smart. Schools also know that good test takers coming in the door are typically good test takers going out the door, and this makes the school look good.  High SAT/ACT test scores mean their students will be admitted to more prestigious colleges and universities, which makes the school look even more impressive to prospective applicants.
2. Strong athletes – private schools are often involved in interscholastic athletic leagues that compete against other local schools. These games are very important to the school, and they often build a strong sense of school pride among the athletes, students, faculty, staff, parents and alumni. The schools want to win these games! Strong athletes help the school win games.  If your child is a strong athlete in a team sport that is valued at the school they are applying to (different schools value different sports differently) this makes them a more attractive candidate. It is not hard to find out what sports are of high value to a school (just look on their web site). Be honest about how good your child is, the schools will know if the child is a strong athlete or not, you can’t fool them here.  Trust me, they have ways of figuring this out.
3. Gifted musicians, actors/actresses and artists – private schools pride themselves on educating the whole child (intellectually, physically and artistically). A gifted musician, performer, or visual artist can bring a lot to enhance the creative programs at a school.  Don’t forget that there are musical, theatrical and artistic competitions too, and the schools also want to be the best in these areas. Some schools are looking to fill holes in their arts programs, and they are actively recruiting students with specific talents.  The band may have just graduated their star pianist or violinist.  The performing arts group may need strong male or female leads for the next play.  The arts department may need student photographers or strong visual artists. Don’t be shy about showcasing your child’s artistic talents; just be realistic about how good your child actually is, and be prepared to show proof of your child’s accomplishments, only if asked to do so.  DO NOT send the school videos, awards, or other proof of your child’s artistic skills, unless specifically invited to do so!

I cannot stress enough how important it is to be realistic about your child’s strengths and weaknesses!  It does no one any good (especially your child) if you are building them up to be something they are not. I am always amazed at the lengths (miles and miles) that some parents go to in order to stretch the truth about their child’s abilities.  The truth always comes out in the end, so do not bother to exaggerate, it will only come back to bite you in the you-know-where!

I am also always amazed when parents think that their child has a shot at getting a scholarship when the child has weak academic skills, is not an athlete, and has no special artistic talent.  They have nothing to offer the school, yet they think the school may “take a chance” on their child and give them a pile of money.  I am sorry to say that it does not work this way.  It is not a lottery, they do not pick your number out of a hat and award you a prize.

Like most things in life, scholarships need to be earned.

Anne Yount

Boston ISEE Prep
617-553-8083
www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam

Boston Tutoring Center
617-553-8083
www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12

Boston Private School Search
617-553-0540
www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions

Follow my Blog - http://privateschoolguru.com/blog/

We work with many high powered clients (doctors, lawyers, hedge fund managers, entrepreneurs, local celebrities, politicians, etc.).  Many of these clients have instant name recognition in their field, in Boston, and sometimes even nationally.  Most of our clients are lovely people, who only want the best for their children, but every once-in-a-while we see someone who is trying to use their status to further their child’s chances of gaining admission to a prestigious private school.

I can tell you from over 14 years of experience, that this approach often backfires.  The schools do not care what you or your spouse have accomplished professionally.  They care about what your child has accomplished.  They do not care who you know, how much money you have, or how much influence you might yield in certain circles.  I have seen titans of industry who have had their kids rejected from some of the most prestigious schools in the country because they thought (incorrectly) that their child could ride their coattails to admission.

The top private schools are inundated with applicants from wealthy, prestigious families.  They have their pick of the children of power brokers.  There are more qualified, connected, rich kids than their are seats at these schools.  Your child has to earn their way into the best schools.  You cannot use your status and influence to give them a boost.  I have seen this backfire many times.  It is distasteful to schools when parents try to use the: “Do you know who I am?” line.  The schools DO NOT CARE who you are!  They care who your child is, and what kind of parent you are.

Below are the top ten things schools look for in all applicants:

• Good grades in challenging courses.
• Excellent teacher recommendations that note that the child is a hard worker, and a nice kid.
• High standardized test scores that indicate the applicant has solid math and reading skills.
• Nice parents who are involved and not too pushy or overbearing.
• A child with a talent or a passion they have pursued (not because they were forced to do so) and that they excelled at.
• A family that gives back to the community through service.
• A successful interview with the applicant and parents where the school gets a good sense that the child is a fit for the school.
• Glowing recommendations from the current school’s staff and administration (teachers and principal) stating that the parents are supportive of the student and the school.
• Ability to pay full tuition – at some schools this matters more than at other schools (more on this in future blog posts).
• Well crafted parent and student applications and essays that highlight why the school is a good fit for the student and the family.

If a student and family have hit high notes in all the above areas, the student has a very good chance of being admitted to their top choice school.

Honesty and lack of pretense are very refreshing characteristics to bring to this process.  A family that is open and honest with the admissions committee about who they are, who their child is, what they want for their child, and what is a good fit for their child, will stand out in an applicant pool of people trying to be someone, or something they are not.  Be yourself and let the chips fall where they may.

As I always tell my families: “If your child is not a good fit for the school, better you know now, than after you have committed thousands of dollars to a place where your child is miserable.”

Anne Yount

Boston ISEE Prep
617-553-8083
www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam

Boston Tutoring Center
617-553-8083
www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12

Boston Private School Search
617-553-0540
www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions

Follow my Blog - http://privateschoolguru.com/blog/

 

I had a client call me the other day. She wanted to get her son into one of the top private schools in Boston (this school gets over 700 applicants for 45 seats in 7th grade) – they are an “Ivy League” level private school.  They look for students who are super smart, athletic, artistic, and nice kids with a connection to giving back (through work at their church, temple or other religious institution, or through volunteer work).  The student must be hard working, humble, mature, and all around outstanding – in other words exceptional!  Sadly, her son did not possess most of these traits.

I have seen very few exceptional students in the past 14 years, but they are out there, and I have seen a number of them, but they are not the norm – not by a long shot!

Parents need to be realistic about who their child is, and who they are not.  They also have to be honest with themselves about where their child will fit, in terms of a private school environment.

I have said it before, and I will say it again (and again) – you cannot fit a square peg into a round hole!  This is not a lottery – the schools do not throw the applications up in the air, close their eyes, and pick randomly who will be admitted.  The actual process of how schools select applicants is very, very complicated and time consuming for the school.  The schools know who they are looking for, and who is a good fit.  They also know who they are not looking for, and who is a poor fit.  I know this too, and I try to guide my clients down the right path, so that this process will not lead them to disappointment.

I see a lot of parents who are quite frankly delusional!  We do not work with delusional people – it is not worth the aggravation when people will not listen to reason, and they think they know better – they do not!  It has been proven time and time again.

I had a conversation last month with a woman who was trying to help a friend in Europe get her son into a top private school in Boston for the 9th grade. He is a current 8th grader, living and studying in a dangerous European country.  They want to get him to a safer place, I get that, really I do.  I explained to her that they missed the deadline for applying to the top schools (the deadlines were in January).  I told her that all the top schools have a wait list, and not all top schools will admit foreign students due to the visa requirements (they do not want to get involved in applying for student visas, and they do not need this clientele, it is too much work for them, and they have plenty of local applicants).

I also pointed out that he would need to take the TOEFL (Test Of English as a Foreign Language) – and he would have to get a certain score in order to be admitted to a top private school in Boston.  She had never heard of the TOEFL test.  He would also have to live in a homestay, as most of the top private schools in Boston do not have boarding services available onsite for students.  I also explained that schools charge a premium for foreign students, because they are essentially acting as guardians of these students while they are in America.  It costs the schools money to apply for and hold the visas on behalf of these students, and it takes time to comply with all rules and regulations governing educating these students.

I suggested they have him come here and attend a mid tier school to repeat 8th grade. I also suggested he start SSAT prep immediately, to prepare to take the test this fall/winter.  He could then apply for admission to a top school for the 9th grade, for entry in the fall of 2017.  He could work on building his English skills, getting acclimated to studying in the United States, and building a resume to help him gain admission to a top private high school in Boston.

She did not want to hear any of this.  She did not think he needed to take the TOFEL (it is required for foreign students applying to study in America) and she did not think he needed to prep for the SSAT (good luck with that).  She pointed out that her daughter (an exceptional student by all measures) did not prep for the SSAT, and currently attends a top boarding school in New Hampshire (one currently involved in a sex scandal with numerous adults accused of abusing students).  She prepped her daughter for the SSAT.

She had previouslt told me that her daughter was rejected by a number of schools in 9th grade, and she finally made it into a boarding school for 10th grade admission last year.  This family also required a lot of financial aid in order for the daughter to attend the school, which the mother now realizes is what hurt her daughter’s chances of admission when they applied for 9th grade entry.

She wanted me to tell her that her friend’s son could waltz into a top private school in Boston this fall.  Not going to happen!

I do not tell people what they want to hear, I tell them the truth, whether they want to hear it or not!

This woman used to be a physician in another life, before she came to American and stopped working to raise her children.  I asked her if she had a patient who came to her in her home country when she was a practicing physician, and asked for her counsel about a complicated medical condition, and then proceeded to tell her at every turn that she was wrong (when she was in fact right), what would she say to that patient?  She said that she would be frustrated, and she would tell them she could not help them because they were not listening to her. Bingo!

Don’t consult a professional for counsel about private schools for your child and then discount the sage wisdom they give you.  Listen to them, take to heart what they say, take a hard look at your child and be honest with them and yourself about what they are capable of, and where they will fit.  You will be doing everyone a huge favor (most of all you and your child)

When I hear from a parent, when they describe their child to me: “They do not like math, they do not like to read, and their favorite subject is recess.”, I throw up my hands in frustration and look for the hidden camera to see if I am being punked! Do they realize how crazy this statement is, when they claim they are trying to get their child into a top private school? I hear this nonsense all to often.

Private schools do not make kids good students!  They take good students and make them even better! 

Take this to heart and you will save yourself and your child a lot of aggravation, disappointment and headaches.

Anne Yount

Boston ISEE Prep
617-553-8083
www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam

Boston Tutoring Center
617-553-8083
www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12

Boston Private School Search
617-553-0540
www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions

Follow my Blog - http://privateschoolguru.com/blog/

 

 

Parents often tell me that paying for tutoring and test prep services, admission consulting services, and private school tuition is a sacrifice for them.  I understand this, I have been there myself.

When my son was in elementary school he was having trouble reading.  Knowing how critical reading skills are to success, I knew I had to do something.  I was a single mother at the time, with very little disposable income.  I found a series of programs (tutoring, a reading workshop, writing classes and speed reading classes) that I signed my son up for over the course of the next 4 years, most of which I financed on my credit cards at 18% interest.  I started hosting foreign language school students in my home, and I used the income from this venture to pay for the classes and programs for my son.

I got creative and found a way to make it work!

I once spoke to a very wise and compassionate founder of a very well respected private school in Boston.  He was explaining to me why his school never gave 100% tuition aid to students, even though he has many disadvantaged students in his school.  He said that the school figures out a fair amount they feel the family can contribute, and they stick to their guns.  He said they often get lots of push back and complaints from the families, but very often a grandparent or other family member steps up and comes in to pay the tuition in CA$H!  His school costs over $20,000 a year.

He went on to explain to me that he believes that in America, if you want something badly enough (a car, a vacation, a cell phone, etc.) you can find a way to pay for it, if you are creative.  You may have to clean toilets or deliver pizza, or wash dishes, but there are people who need these jobs done, and they are willing to pay for it.  You may not like what you have to do, but there is money to be made out there if you put in the effort and work hard.  His words have stuck with me for many years, and I believe them to be true.  This was an eye opening conversation for me.

When I started my business many years ago, I also started a program to help disadvantaged students.  I obtained small grants from local community leaders and charities.  I matched every dollar with an in-kind donation of my own.  I helped about 5 students that first year.  They all came to me with very sad stories (a father abandoning his children, a grandmother raising her granddaughter, a single mother with limit English skills, etc.).

After we invested in these students, they all did well, and they were admitted to private or exam schools, but they really did not need the charity after all.  The mother with no help from her former husband told me she was paying for Catholic high school for her son, and saving for retirement.  She was living rent free in her parents house, and she had a good job at an insurance company.  I could not afford Catholic high school for my son at that point, and I had no money saved for retirement.  She was better off than me, and she was crying poor!

The grandmother raising her granddaughter drove a convertible and took the granddaughter on a trip to Disney that summer.  I was driving a 10 year old car, and my kids were not going to Disney that summer.  Again, she was better off than me, and she was crying poor!

The single mother with limited English skills took a 3 week trip to her home country that summer.  I was not going on a 3 weeks trip that year!

If these folks had been willing to sacrifice their savings for a while, their luxury cars, and their vacations, they could have afforded the fee for test prep.  They did not need charity, but they felt entitled to it (why I do not know)!  I have gotten much tougher with anyone looking for a handout since this experience.  I take very seriously the monies entrusted to me for charitable work, and I want to make sure they go to the truly needy among us, and not some scammers.

The bottom line is that of all the things you can buy your children: fancy fleece jackets, brand name sneakers, expensive cell phones, boots costing more than $100 that you can’t wear in the snow, electronic devices, trips, etc., money spent on education is the best money you will ever spend on your children!

Long after the clothes are outgrown, the shoes no longer fit, the electronics are broken and outdated, and the trip of a lifetime is forgotten, the value of a good education with stick with your children.

It boggles my mind to hear people say that they cannot afford education services, especially when they pull up in a luxury car, and their child is wearing over $500 worth of designer clothes, jackets and boots, and they have a similar designer jacket and pair of pricey boots on themselves.

These people have their priorities way out of whack, and they have very poor values.  We do not want to work with people who do not understand that education is not free, and it takes time, money, effort, and focus.  There are no cheap and quick fixes.

As the sign in our office says: “There is no elevator to success, you have to take the stairs.”

Anne Yount

Boston ISEE Prep
617-553-8083
www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam

Boston Tutoring Center
617-553-8083
www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12

Boston Private School Search
617-553-0540
www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions

Follow my Blog - http://privateschoolguru.com/blog/

 

 

 

 

I hear all the time from parents and educators that the boys they know do not like to read.  This is a BIG problem!

Students who do not like to read typically have poor vocabulary, grammar, reading comprehension and writing skills.  They struggle A LOT with the verbal sections of standardized tests, and with the word problems on the math sections of these tests.

Solid reading skills are essential for success in school and in life!

I had the same problem with my son when he was younger.  One thing I did to help him improve his reading skills was to offer him a variety of different books, much like we would do with a picky eater, until he found ones he liked.  I found that if I could get him hooked on a series, then he would read all the books in the series.  He especially liked: The Series of Unfortunate Events, Harry Potter, Artemis Fowl, The Hardy Boys, and books by Mike Lupica about sports and Louis Sachar (Holes).

He was required to spend a minimum of 30 minutes a day reading, and often he would read longer than this if he was into the story.  We would also watch the movie based on the book after he finished the book (if there was a movie).

My son liked having his own copy of the books, and I was happy to buy him books, if that made him want to read them more.  Of all the things I could buy him, books were the most valuable.  His younger sister (who is 12 years his junior) is reading many of the books he enjoyed years ago.  I am sure we will pass this library along to future generations.  A legacy of reading is a wonderful gift to give a child.

I started reading to my daughter when she was a few days old.  My husband thought I was nuts, but she loves to read now, and she often stays up late on the weekends reading a good book.  Her vocabulary is very advanced and she is a great writer.  A love of reading is a gift that lasts a lifetime.

One of my earliest and fondest memories as a child is sitting on my grandfather’s lap as he read to me.  I was reading chapter books by kindergarten, and I remember reading to my classmates in kindergarten.  Thank you grandpa Niven for giving me the gift of reading, what a wonderful way to be remembered!

We once offered to give several boxes of picture books to a neighbor with young twins, and they only wanted a few books.  They did not want “books to clutter up the house”!  I was shocked that anyone would say such a thing.  If anything is going to clutter up a house, it should be reading material.  Years later when I ran into the mother of these boys, she told me there were struggling in school.  Maybe if she had encouraged them to read all those years ago, they would not be having trouble in school now.

There is a great web site that helps boys find good books to read:

http://www.guysread.com/

Check out the books I have suggested above, and on this web site, and get your boy reading!

Anne Yount

Boston ISEE Prep
617-553-8083
www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam

Boston Tutoring Center
617-553-8083
www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12

Boston Private School Search
617-553-0540
www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions

Follow my Blog - http://privateschoolguru.com/blog/

As a parent of two children (one in his mid 20s, and one currently in middle school), and the founder and president of one of the busiest and most successful independent tutoring centers in Boston for the past 14 years, I know a lot about middle school students.  More than half of our client base is middle school age (grades 5-8).

Middle school is a time of huge growth for children – physically, mentally, emotionally, and educationally.  Middle school is a time of “coming of age”, and a time that can be fraught with angst and self doubt.  Children are breaking away from their parents and developing independence.  They are also forming thoughts and opinions about school (and subjects they like and dislike), people, life, the world around them, and their own abilities.  Needless to say, this is a VERY impressionable age.

It is imperative that parents be involved in their middle school student’s life!  Resist the urge to “set them loose”.  Do not give them more independence than they are ready for, as it could lead to trouble for many years to come.

Many parents across the United States, and increasingly from Europe and Asia, seek my counsel about educational options for their middle and high school student.  Some parents say they want to defer private school until high school so that they only have to pay for 4 years of a private high school, versus 6 (or more) years of private middle/high school.  Some private middle schools start as early as grade 5, which could mean up to 8 years of private school tuition from start to finish.

In most cases (depending on the school) it is worth every penny to have your child in private school as early as you can afford to do so!

If your child is in a sub par middle school, with a lot of unmotivated students who are trouble makers, then they are likely to not take their studies seriously, and they may fall in with the “wrong crowd”.  Children at this age are very vulnerable and impressionable; they want to emulate their peers to be accepted, and they desperately want to be part of the “in” group.

Make sure your child’s “in” group is studious, polite, respectful, curious about the world around them, and they are children who want to learn and become productive citizens!

Your child’s peer group in middle school can influence them positively or negatively, and will likely set them on a course one way or the other for many, many years to come.  Do not leave this up to chance!  Stay involved and immerse them in an environment that will prepare them to be successful adults.

Anne Yount

Boston ISEE Prep
617-553-8083
www.bostoniseeprep.com - Test Prep for the ISEE & Latin School Exam

Boston Tutoring Center
617-553-8083
www.bostontutoringcenter.com - Tutoring Grades K-12

Boston Private School Search
617-553-0540
www.bostonprivateschoolsearch.com - Your Resource for Private School Admissions

Follow my Blog - http://privateschoolguru.com/blog/