You Can’t Train a Puppy at 14!

I love this quote!  I first heard it from a very good client, many years ago.  She is a wise and strict mother who has two very successful sons today.  They both attended private schools and colleges, and they are gainfully employed and living on their own in their late 20s today.  She is a single mother and she worked hard to support her sons over the years, and to make sure they grew into respectful, self-sufficient members of society.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said of many parents I encounter today.  Parents are often too quick to make excuses for their children, and not hold them to high standards.  There is a balance between holding children to high standards, and nurturing and supporting them.  You need to give children the tools to succeed, and then you need to step back and let them rise and fall on their own.

Parents today are too swift to swoop in and rescue poor little Janey and Johnny when they think there is trouble ahead.  Children have to be allowed to fail, so that they learn from their mistakes, and they learn how to solve problems on their own.  We are here to support and guide, but not to be the sweeper who is running around behind them constantly cleaning up their messes for them.  This does nothing to teach children how to make their own way in the world.

This type of parenting has to start from the time they can walk and talk.  You can’t teach a puppy how to behave at 14, and you can’t expect to install values and a work ethic in a child who has never been held accountable for their actions prior to entering high school.

Stop making excuses for your children (if you are that kind of a parent)!  Set reasonable goals with your children and give them the tools they need to succeed, and then get the heck out of the way and let the baby birds learn to fly!

Anne Yount

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